This morning, in my front yard.

Me: lala, what a gorgeous day. Oh, neat. A butterfly. I've never seen one that color...or that shape...

Bug: GOOD MORNING. I AM NOT A BUTTERFLY, I'M A BEETLE AND I'D LIKE TO JUMP UP INTO YOUR FACE!

Me: SCREAM

Bug: YEAH, THAT'S GOOD, BABY! LET ME GET ALL TANGLED UP IN YOUR HAIR! I LOVE CURLS!

Me: WHAT THE FUCK!

Bug: YOU CAN TRY SHAKING YOUR HEAD ALL OVER THE PLACE, BUT I AM HERE TO STAY!

Me: GOOD GOD!

Bug: NICE TRY LADY, BUT NOW I'LL JUST WALK AROUND YOUR NECK!

Me: Ewwwww aaaahhhhh iieeieeeeee

Bug: SUCH A GIRLIE SCREAM!!! AHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Me: *flick*

Bug: NOW I'M ON YOUR BOOB! YES, NOW WE'RE TALKING - HOT FRIDAY MORNING ACTION!

Me: *light headed* *flick*

Bug: YES, FLICK ME TO YOUR WINDSHIELD, I SHALL GO PLACES WITH YOU. YOU ARE MINE NOW.

Me: Good morning! *waves to passerby who stares at me and then mumbles quietly into his cell phone*

I heard the word "tantrum".